succubi adapt to their prey thru both classical and pseudo-Lamarckian evolution. this is why we had medieval succubi who scared the shit out of monks, but they've since become modern breeds like the hot ones on metal album covers, or adorkable software-engineer-eating specialists like Mel. imagine how that process might have proceeded in other timelines:
succubus #1: yeah i'm from Earth-1, i mean, it's okay. but look at you! you're like eight feet tall and covered in armor plating and spikes and shit! hardcore! so that's what humans over there are into, huh?
succubus #2: i'm considered pretty runty for Earth-26, actually. i have to stick to the low-radiation zones most of the time, but i do get to meet all sorts of interesting humans that can't handle the "heat"!
#1: that's a gnarly scar, can i ask…
#2: oh yeah, aren't your humans… excitable? ours sure are! i was wondering, because you barely seem to have to subdue yours, given your thin hide and almost total lack of blast marks. does that get dull?
#1: uh
#2: i'm sorry, do you not have foreplay on Earth-1? you know, with the missiles?
#1: no it's like. whips. or cuddling. usually one of those, sometimes both? missiles seem kinda… extra
#2: not even lasers?
#1: not even… lasers… wait. okay. like approximately. how much of your "humans" are metal?
#2: like most of them. the outside anyway. and the bones
#1: and they're… tall?
#2: oh, yes, sometimes tens of meters
#1: and how many legs?
#2: four to eight is common but y'know, takes all sorts, right?
#1: okay no? there's like one sort. okay two-ish and they come in colors, but the details barely matter. one more question, i'm sorry, you've been so interesting
#2: no go ahead, i do love talking about my job
#1: do yours beep
#2: do yours not?
#1: okay i see the problem. yours actually all died out a while ago, and you've adapted to try to fuck their surviving autonomous war machinery, haven't you
#2: honey, what do you mean, "try"
this post has received a voice-acted adaptation from the talented Lily Vers, who is not on Cohost, so here is a Fedi link:
