This post has content warnings for: a little discoursey, trans eggs.
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in reply to @wintersouls's post:
imo, the best way to support a person you think may be trans is to be a "heatlamp": provide a kind environment and do your best to let them know they will be safe and supported around you regardless of their gender identity or presentation. just be a good friend, really. you don't hatch an egg by breaking the shell before they're ready!
exactly!!
the focus should be on being a safe place for people to explore their identity without pressure or judgement. to give them a space to explore on their own terms
i think it's also important that we try to create safe shared spaces where people are doing this for each other
and i believe these safe spaces are undermined when people start going "you must be X because you do/feel Y" as if it were universal
Even knowing for a fact we're trans, spaces with an expected transition path were really toxic to us. We didn't start figuring out specifics until we had a space where we could express ourselves without feeling like we were being sorted into a box for it.
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yeah like, trans people aren't a monolith and we can't expect everyone's transitions to look the same
people still maintain individuality, at the end of the day! there's not very much we can take as universal evidence that someone is trans or a particular gender
we didn't jump out of one box to be sorted into another by people who barely know us, yknow?