So as 2022 goes out, I did some good things, I survived, I got started towards getting GCS. I got through several things which while not the worst were very stressful and emotional, loss of my uncle, replacing my car. I wrote 350k words of fluffy trans fiction, about 240k of which is up on my website, which, I have mixed feelings about. I feel like I might be wallowing in fantasy? Eh.
I have family and friends, and support, but, I still constantly feel alone. I could be in a crowd of family, and still feel alone, and I did most of the last week...
One thing that hit particularly hard this last week was the yearning for a wife and kids I'm pretty sure I will never have, because Im probably not fit to have them even if I could. I've had no luck meeting anyone, I don't know how to go about it probably but its still disheartening to have made no progress at it. I go on vacation and Im around people and ok, sure, some of its good interaction but at the end of the day I come home to being alone. I see family with their families and I have... me. Maybe that should be enough for me, but its not.