Today was gonna be a light day so I took my meds thinking I'd have a day like last Monday where I got some stuff done, and while I got job things done I haven't done jack tonight but fidget and have a headache. I'm bad at knowing when is a good day to take these things when I have an hour to decide before the day starts.
I'm really tired. I know I say that every day, but working endlessly under pressure and budgeting every cent while also trying to work on all this other extra human stuff like writing or talking to people is very fucking hard. I don't know how I did it before. Everything started slipping away in 2020 and never came back, and this Sisyphus shit of always being inches away from minor stability and the rug being pulled continually keeps me in this state of insanity.
I shouldn't be this brain fried every single day. It's a 3 day weekend coming up, and it's going to be a light week at work hopefully. Maybe I can cool off some more. I'm almost afraid to think anything could be improving because if I say it too loudly some act of god will take that hope away from me too.