helo this is mostly personal stuffs, feel free to click the cookie run tags in my pinned to see all my delightful posts about a franchise i'm hyperfixated on


Creativity has always been a hard spot with me. I don't often come up with ideas of things I really want to make, sometimes years spanning between or short bursts. I look at the short few years I did comedy stuff as some kind of golden age of art, since even if I wasn't doing stuff on stage a lot, I was making all sorts of other things every week. I was applying my own takes on stuff and doing so, so much drawing or crafts or whatever. My job was shit but I was thriving nonetheless. I still consider it as close to a high point as I could get in the world, even it being pre-transition. I wasn't the best or got picked last for most things if at all, I still felt like I belonged somewhere.

But given how fast that creativity died after the post-coming out fallout, I'm never going to have a force behind me that has the magnitude of dozens of offline friends and lots of times that would have been good memorable times had they not been soured to hell and back. I don't know if I interpreted all the art I was doing as well-received, but people liked my stuff and my bizarre artistic pokemon shit like Mew Descending A Staircase. Maybe I'll post my old drawings sometime.

Streaming was a weird one. Things were extremely bad and having a reason to stare at a CRT and grind Jackal was a good way to forget the world, so I started investing in the thing I was zoning out to a lot as an escape. I think as I got through a lot of my mother's bullshit in therapy at the time, and I started getting more into Cookie Run, plus 2020, the energy to come up with new shit for streams fizzled out and streaming felt like a chore. Cookies gave me the thing I wanted without needing to prepare and show everyone. Never say never, but definitely not anytime soon.

To the two people still subscribed to me, you really don't have to. I got a twitch payout the other day for $50. Thank you, some of it went to a carryout pizza, d-mos got this sick deal for $8

OH speaking of which I got like $75 from the class action lawsuit from ITT Tech shutting down, first time I ever got anything from a lawsuit maybe


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