We've come to a conclusion. We don't have a choice. We have to cut someone out. Force us - them - to be singular.
We hyperventilate, again, while we tell ourselves to breathe slowly. Our hyperspace core thrums anxiously, locked behind Sarah's walls.
It's the only choice we have, really. Without proof that we can have someone disconnect from ourselves, we can't prove to Sarah that they were a part of us the whole time. And just as importantly, we can't prove that we're not some kind of brain-eating monster from beyond the stars that only thinks it's good for the people it consumes. That's ridiculous, we tell ourselves. But it might be true! We yell at ourselves. We're being silly, we tell ourselves. But we have to anyway, we sigh at ourselves.
The method will be disorienting, and have side effects. Since we still don't really understand how our gestalt has formed, we'll have to turn off the implant in whichever body gets chosen for the task.
Will they remember being us? Will we remember being them?
Some of our bodies with weaker stomachs run to the bathrooms, and we lose our lunch while we hold our hair back and rub our backs.
Come on. We've outrun planetary detonations, outgunned a fleet of Torbatian sting-ships, and stood up to an SFC fleet admiral. We can do this.
Sure, we say to ourselves, but just because we can tear our own arm out of its socket doesn't mean it's going to be pleasant.
We sigh. We know. Grousing about it isn't going to help. We need to determine who to cut out.
We get a whole-bodies shiver across the entire ship and raise our shields reflexively. Sarah notices. Come on, us, we need to keep it together.
The Captain-body would be a natural choice - she was always the first to volunteer for a dangerous mission. Yes, we say to ourselves, but we never let her go very often because she was the Captain. We needed her. Is that true now, we ask ourselves? It feels true, we say to ourselves, that the Captain should be the last one out. Going down with the ship, we say to ourselves, wryly.
Besides, we say to ourselves, this is partially for Sarah's benefit. We should pick someone who she knows and trusts.
Oh.
Well, then there's only really one choice.
The door chime beeps at me, and I toss in my bed. "Go away."
"Sarah, open up, please. It's me, Starille."
"I told you to stop calling me-" wait. Not us. Me. I rush to the door and slam the pad to open it.
Standing on the other side is Starille, her eyes not glowing, but also not tracking me correctly. She's being supported by the Shipmind-Captain, who says, "We're just here to drop her off, and then we'll leave." They look... tired. More than that, exhausted. I take Starille's other arm over my shoulder and usher her in, closing the door on the not-Captain.
I help her sit down on my wall-mounted couch. "Starille?! How did you - what did you - you're out? You're really you??"
She gives me a small smile, but it looks like it hurts. "In the flesh. The Shipmind worked it out. We - they, figured out how to cut someone out of it. W- They, I, wanted to do it for you, to convince you, and-" She moves to stand up, and nearly collapses. "Oof. Woozy."
I'm half-kneeling, half-sitting next to her, in shock. I don't know what to say. I stammer for a moment, and eventually get to "H-How do you feel?"
"Awful!" She says, the same faux-cheery way she always says it when I ask her how the debugging session went over cards. "Sarah, I feel like I'm blind. I can't feel the others anymore, I can't connect to the ship, I have the worst headache I've ever had in my life - we had to overload my cortex implant entirely to get me out." She shivers, and by instinct, I hug her. She hugs me back, warm as ever, and says, "It's really a lot less pleasant than I make it sound."
"But this is great!" I cry. "We can get everyone out! They can be themselves again! Even if there's some momentary side effects-"
"Sarah." She tries to take my hand, misses once, manages to grab it with both of hers. "I can't tell you this enough: having been a part of the Shipmind? Now being just me again? This sucks. Being separated like this hurts."
It's still manipulating her, says the voice in the back of my head. The pain she's feeling, it must be a trick from the Shipmind, to force her back in.
"I came out for two reasons and two reasons only: one, we wanted to convince you that I was really in there to begin with, that I hadn't lost myself. And two... we want your help."
I blink. "My help? With what?"
"Well... okay. The Shipmind thinks that, maybe, perhaps, it might be a little... evil. I don't agree! I think that we- they're being silly. But I volunteered to come out here so that we could prove them wrong, you and I."
"And how, exactly, do we do that?"
"Simple. You and I stay friends. Believe it or not, I like hanging out with you, playing cards, being together, playing games, even if you're a pain in the ass sometimes," she sticks her tongue out at me. "If you can convince me that I'm wrong, that the Shipmind somehow tricked me into joining them, then they're evil, for sure. But if I can convince you that I'm right, then I can go back. Then, the rest of Shipmind will have to listen to the most stubborn bitch I know having changed her mind." She looks downright smug about it.
I narrow my eyes. "What if the Shipmind is evil, and they force you to come back?"
She rests her head against the back of the chair and closes her eyes. "When I left, it hurt the Shipmind, too. Like trying to tear your own leg off with your teeth. I don't think they're going to be in a position to do much 'forcing' for quite a while."
That means it's vulnerable, says the voice in the back of my head. This is the perfect time to use the malware!
"So, I'm out here for as long as it takes, Sarah. You and I, we're gonna work this thing out."
Starille won't even get hurt. Her implant is already burned out, if she's telling the truth! And if the malware works like James said it would, it might even break apart the whole Shipmind!
"Subject me to whatever test you want. Whatever thing will satisfy you. I'll take em all, and prove both you and Shipmind wrong."
She just thinks she was happy there! It's leftover mind control! Use the malware now and escape while you can!
My gaze falls to James' tablet, sitting on the shelf, commands queued up and ready to fire. I get up and move over to it. My hand hesitates in front of it. I reach out and grab...
I turn around with two game controllers in my hand. "Astral Kart?" I say. You dumbass, this is exactly what they want!
She grins at me. "Oh, I'll gladly kick your ass again."
