translating things, building chill software for my friends, playing ttrpgs, making procedural vector art, learning piano, writing unhinged Utena fanfics, and just vibing



SpectreWrites
@SpectreWrites

Previous kinda

Lauren awoke to crashing thunder and her bed jumping several inches off the ground.

"No, honey, come on-" She groaned, groggy, as another crack of thunder boomed through their apartment and her bed was jostled nearly hard enough to toss her right out of it.

Daisy hated thunderstorms, which, sure, if Lauren had dog hearing she would probably also hate them. Completely understandable. 100%.

Lauren got out of bed and onto her hands and knees to look under it, her vision blurry and not adjusted to the dark.

"Sweetie you can't hide under the bed, we talked about this."

Daisy whined pitifully, and a flash of lightning briefly illuminated her cowering with her tail between her legs before the thunder made her jump again, nearly flipping the bed entirely.



Making-up-Mech-Pilots
@Making-up-Mech-Pilots

Mech Pilot who wants what you have. Not the Machine.


melinoe
@melinoe

The red-boots girl circles the 180-Dock, prances over fuel and vomit spills.

Your shore-girl — ‘cos pilots know civvies won’t ever get it. Your machine does, but you can’t fuck the machine — least per new regulations, and field-issue tech. So you take the closet thing; their warm, cock-waving, hole-haver flesh-hearts, and settle for that.

And civvies are soft, and weak, and… even over the smoke and oil she smells good.

You’re still in the combat-romper, short-short at the shoulder and thighs — mount-points for the gun show; her hands run on its centre-torso, over coolant hose that weaves into spooled intestine. No point in extra effort — ‘cos it’s never real with a civvie.

And she’ll just want a knight, in oil-stained armour, to strut her into the fanciest do on the station’s promenade and let her pouted lips sip on 200u cocktails — as if she’s bored.

“Who’s it now?” you ask, as if you’ll take her back when you’re on a merc’s pension.



caffeinatedOtter
@caffeinatedOtter

They mingle with the crowd of relatives and other close undesirables whom it's impossible to refuse to invite to a wedding.

It feels darkly funny to Harri to think of them like that — the sentiment is pure Cosimisa, she practically hears it in the elf's spite-dripping intonation — when she hasn't seen or spoken to Cos in weeks. May never have to — or be allowed to — again.

Then again, perhaps it's merely that sparkling wine is flowing like a burst water main, and Harri's single incautious long-stemmed glass of it, on her rebelliously queasy, empty stomach, has spun her head. She fastens herself tightly to Vespidine's elbow, and gives her best blank heavy-lidded smile to an endless parade of elves who have things to say, in various degrees of veiled, to Vespidine about her. Or to Vespidine, about Vespidine, with reference to her.

Vespidine holds a glass of her own, never takes a single sip, and would seem imperturbable if not for the way the muscles of her arm are clenched steel-tense under Harri's fingers. Harri wonders if any part of it is because the elf is aware, now, that Harri might somewhat understand any given one of the slights.

Probably it's just that families are hell.

An eternity later, Vespidine's polite, recurring, "Do excuse me," sees her wheel Harri abruptly into the kitchens, where — in the absence of most of the noise and crowd, in a staff area of the house — she takes Harri by the elbows, turns her face-to-face, frowning, and lifts Harri's chin with the tip of a finger and thumb.

The elf sighs, almost silently. "Sit down, Harika," she says, gesturing Harri in the direction of a stool, and Harri sits and watches her as she gathers a glass of water and a small plate of salted crackers. "Did you eat anything this morning?"

"I couldn't have kept anything down," Harri says.

"It's another two hours before the ceremony starts," Vespidine says quietly. "Please," and holds the plate out, face strained but patient.

Harri is agreeable when she's tipsy. It makes her usually busy brain pleasantly quiet, leaving plenty of space to pour suggestions into her. Cosimisa found it endlessly entertaining.

Harri takes a cracker and agreeably, if unenthusiastically, nibbles at a corner of it.

"Your sister likes me like this," she says conversationally, and Vespidine's mouth tightens, just a little. (Harri is agreeable — that doesn't make her unobservant.)

"Drink some water, Harika," she says quietly, and Harri takes the glass that's held out to her and sips water and Vespidine stands too close and watches her, stiff and sad. "Eat another cracker, please."

"Since you said please," Harri says, the glib lie sweet on her tongue; she'd have done it anyway. It doesn't matter what tone the korvu by-Tenstone korvu Overmore kanru Tjenwater girls take with her.

(Well...she's equally agreeable, regardless of tone; that's not to say it's precisely the same. She presses her thighs together, under her expensive ruffled skirts, and demurely sips her water and nibbles her cracker and watches Vespidine watching her.)

"How much elvish do you speak, Harika?" Vespidine says finally, and Harri sighs and rolls her eyes.

"I attended university," she says, a touch impatiently, because if Vespidine cared about the answer she could have known everything already. "Literature. I wrote my thesis on comparative translation strategies in difficult classical elven texts — the Mordantiad, the older works in the Tenstone Cycle—"

"Oh," Vespidine says, wincing. "Not — not precisely limited to enough to do your job, then."

"Not precisely," Harri agrees, and watches Vespidine visibly reconsider that even her distant elder relatives' obscurely snide classical allusions haven't passed Harri by.

The elf's jaw twitches, as if she might say something.

"Eat another cracker, please," is what finally comes out.

Harri looks at the crackers and sighs. They are, in fact, settling her stomach a little, and her head feels a little less cloudy — which she's not sure is an improvement, under the circumstances.

"Alright," she says.

Another hour passes, purgatorial, before the extended family and guests are packed into a cavalcade of motor-cars to be delivered all the way to the top of the Hill, to the amphitheatrical shrine, highest construction on the Northstone save for the summit's sealing petroglyphs themselves. It has no religious function — the gods unleashing the End will never be forgiven — but much as shrines and cathedrals always did, ostensibly secondarily, stands as a testament to the people of the End themselves; their refusal of the gods' will to casually dispose of the entire world.

Harri ends up amidst a row of seats, Vespidine on one side, her parents further along in that direction; one of Vespidine's grandparents on the other side of her. Vespidine, eyes casually forward, reaches across and takes Harri's hand, cradling it between both of her own in her own lap, as if the gesture is smoothly unconsidered.

The grandparent ignores Harri as thoroughly as if they were seated next to a wall, not a person. She's left with nothing to do but watch the ceremony; the armfuls of scattered flower-petals, the symbolic fire, the winding of a length of beaded ribbon to join the forearms of Cosimisa and her soon-to-be spouse, the nominal token proof that the groom can afford to support a wife, in the traditional elven form of a golden ear cuff. Cosimisa, with her perfectly performed dutiful-daughter mask of nuptial joy.

It hurts, in a hollow sort of way. And Harri feels sick at herself, for hurting. For the way she's anticipating, in the ache, missing Cosimisa; and for the meagre but appreciable comfort she takes in having her hand held by the other sister.



spineflu
@spineflu

"A REAL job is a job you hate. I designed car ads and grocery ads in the windowless basement of a convenience store, and I hated every single minute of the 4-1/2 million minutes I worked there. My fellow prisoners at work were basically concerned about how to punch the time clock at the perfect second where they would earn another 20 cents without doing any work for it.

It was incredible: after every break, the entire staff would stand around in the garage where the time clock was, and wait for that last click. And after my used car needed the head gasket replaced twice, I waited in the garage too.

It was a rude shock to see just how empty and robotic life can be when you don't care about what you're doing, and the only reason you're there is to pay the bills.Thoreau said, “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." That's one of those dumb cocktail quotations that will strike fear in your heart as you get older. Actually, I was leading a life of loud desperation.

Like many people, I found that what I was chasing wasn't what I caught. I've wanted to be a cartoonist since I was old enough to read cartoons, and I never really thought about cartoons as being a business. It never occurred to me that a comic strip I created would be at the mercy of a bloodsucking corporate parasite called a syndicate, and that I'd be faced with countless ethical decisions masquerading as simple business decisions.To make a business decision, you don't need much philosophy; all you need is greed, and maybe a little knowledge of how the game works.

As my comic strip became popular, the pressure to capitalize on that popularity increased to the point where I was spending almost as much time screaming at executives as drawing. Cartoon merchandising is a $12 billion dollar a year industry and the syndicate understandably wanted a piece of that pie. But the more I thought about what they wanted to do with my creation, the more inconsistent it seemed with the reasons I draw cartoons.Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you're really buying into someone else's system of values, rules and rewards.The so-called "opportunity" I faced would have meant giving up my individual voice for that of a money-grubbing corporation. It would have meant my purpose in writing was to sell things, not say things. My pride in craft would be sacrificed to the efficiency of mass production and the work of assistants. Authorship would become committee decision. Creativity would become work for pay. Art would turn into commerce. In short, money was supposed to supply all the meaning I'd need.What the syndicate wanted to do, in other words, was turn my comic strip into everything calculated, empty and robotic that I hated about my old job. They would turn my characters into television hucksters and T-shirt sloganeers and deprive me of characters that actually expressed my own thoughts.

On those terms, I found the offer easy to refuse. Unfortunately, the syndicate also found my refusal easy to refuse, and we've been fighting for over three years now. Such is American business, I guess, where the desire for obscene profit mutes any discussion of conscience.

You will find your own ethical dilemmas in all parts of your lives, both personal and professional. We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled. Sooner or later, we are all asked to compromise ourselves and the things we care about. We define ourselves by our actions. With each decision, we tell ourselves and the world who we are. Think about what you want out of this life, and recognize that there are many kinds of success.Many of you will be going on to law school, business school, medical school, or other graduate work, and you can expect the kind of starting salary that, with luck, will allow you to pay off your own tuition debts within your own lifetime.

But having an enviable career is one thing, and being a happy person is another.

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it's to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential-as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.You'll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you're doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you'll hear about them.

To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming, you have the Swiss Army Knife of mental tools, and it's going to come in handy all the time."
Bill Watterson


cathoderaydude
@cathoderaydude

you can't miss with a bill watterson quote but it delights me that the same speech also included the line

My job is essentially to come up with 365 ideas a year. If you ever want to find out just how uninteresting you really are, get a job where the quality and frequency of your thoughts determine your livelihood

yeah