xenogears

a million shades of light

  • he/they

first and foremost i am here to amuse myself
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i love weird and bad video games, speedrunning, professional wrestling, and rodents
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i hate computers
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also found on:
discord (indextic)
twitch (indextic)
bluesky for the foreseeable future, i guess



Anonymous User asked:

this might be a silly place to know of someone from, but are you the person that the index page for tehurn.com was named after?? and if so, do you have any funny stories/insight into that chapter of your life?

if not, have you/would you ever do a speedrun of something? (feel free to answer this question too, if interested)

have to admit, that's about the last place i expected to be recognized from

anyway yeah, that's me bouncing around in my chair from some stream in like 2012 or something. didn't realize anyone ever thought about that website these days


i don't even remember what i was streaming or why i was doing that but someone ended up turning into a gif and then it made its way onto tehurn. if you click the little play button in the corner it'll play audio from a majora's mask speedrun stream i did around the same time where i was making weird noises along to the music. it was made by a friend so it's not terribly surprising but i just don't really remember any of the details, lol

hate to be a disappointment but i can't say i have a lot in the way of stories or insight from that time in my life, my memory is terrible and i was very mentally unwell at the time without any of the tools or understanding i needed to not be a complete wreck about it. despite all the times i enjoyed during that period i don't really have many good feelings about it

i think the only real insight i have to offer is to just fuckin talk to your friends about how you feel. one of my biggest regrets of my speedrunning era was that i just abruptly disappeared in 2014, leaving behind like 90% of people i was in contact with, because i was having (what at the time i didn't realize was) a BPD Moment where i convinced myself everyone i knew hated me and was against me in some way or another and that the only way to avoid this rejection was to reject everyone else first. which wasn't even the first time i made some dramatic, "heh, later losers" type of random disappearance. was a bit of a pattern in my life!

mind you, it doesn't help that it came at a point where 4chan was becoming a huge part of the speedrunning community, and i hated every bit of it. at one point i had reached a level of paranoia where i was checking 4chan constantly to make sure someone wasn't like... idk? i don't even know what i was scared of. i just really wasn't comfortable with the vibes the speedrunning community was giving at the time

i've since reconnected with a lot of friends from that time and as lovely as its been i just feel so much grief over the time we could've been spending together. i'm hoping i don't end up back in that place again, and if i do, i hope i'm able to talk to people and have them reassure me in some way that they really do want me around. which, as far as i can tell, has always been the case


to answer your second question: i've already speedrun a few things! i'm the current world record holder for every category in The Darkness (X360, 2007) having reclaimed the any% record last year, and i used to do f-zero time attacks and majora's mask speedruns. i was never as big on speedrunning as most other people in the community at the time, i always preferred races and glitch hunting. i still really love glitch hunting but i've spent so much time away from it that i feel like i don't know how to do it for any game i don't already know a ton about, like majora's mask or the darkness

i haven't done any speedrunning or even streaming in a few months now because i found it wasn't making me feel great at the time, but i'll probably end up doing it all again at some point. just gotta find the right game that nobody really spent enough time trying to break

thanks for being the first person to send me an ask :)


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