i can feel the speedrunning obsession leaving me once again. and i don't have anything lined up to fill the Obsessive Interest void
really wish i could just have normal amounts of interest in things that lasted long-term instead of letting something completely consume me, burning through everything in a matter of weeks, and then forgetting about them for months-to-years
there's a reason my @ is xenogears but i barely talk about it despite it being one of my favourite things ever. if i'm not currently obsessed with it, it doesn't exist, i don't care about it at all, i can't even force myself to enjoy anything about it because it's just not what i'm focused on. and i hate it. i don't want to be this way lmao, i'm genuinely jealous of people who have things they enjoy that they can do regularly or come back to any time they want
