[cw under the cut for discussions of domestic violence, mental health, and mortality; there will also be spoiler discussion]
The "cozy game" has really taken off in the last few years, huh? Makes sense due to the increasing overwhelming dread of modern life, doubled down by the pandemic. I’m speaking in broad strokes but media that provides escapism via low stakes, slow vibes, and comfort getting popular always made sense to me.
I was sold Unpacking on the idea of it being cute and cozy; of it being quick yet lightweight and chill; of it being wholesome. What I got was an experience that affected me in a very different way than I expected, in a way that is highly personal to me.
Unpacking helped me unpack my trauma, and my thoughts on mortality.
Unpacking
Released: 2 Nov 2021
Developer: Witch Beam
Publisher: Humble Games
Played on Steam Deck; link to Steam store page | Also available on Switch, PS4, PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, iOS, & Android
At its core, Unpacking's gameplay loop and structure is described in the title. You travel through our (presumed AFAB) protagonist's life at various stages via unpacking boxes in new abodes. The story is told through background details and small snippets revealed in the album after you complete each stage. It's not timed, and the only restriction is that everything has to be put away in a proper location per the game's logic. There's sometimes some finagling that has to be done to get stuff to fit in a way that works well with how I like to organize things, but it's otherwise pretty freeform. The loop was relaxing and allowed me to engage in one of my favourite parts of moving: unpacking things from boxes and finding new homes for your belongings to make the place feel like you belong.
...that's all for the typical song and dance of game review stuff. I could talk about how cutely detailed the pixel art is, I could talk about how calm the music and presentation are and how that can cultivate an experience worth having if you want to spare an afternoon. It's a game that will just be that for many people, and that's fine.
But there's a reason it took me until 2024 to play Unpacking. That reason involves a tiny anecdote about my first experience with the game. I was watching a fellow streamer play it shortly after launch (I apologize I do not remember who at this point, it's been a few years c'mon now). I saw the level of the game where the protagonist moves in with their (presumably cishet dude) partner, and thought the gameplay loop looked cute. I kept watching and the very next level hit me with their breakup and our protagonist moving into her childhood home, with the level unable to be cleared if a picture of them was not hidden away from sight.
I had to click off the stream and immediately breathe.
I'm rather open about the fact that I am a survivor of domestic violence. I was in an abusive relationship for the first 7.5 years of my adult life when I was still attempting to present as a cis gay man. I finally broke free in 2017, came out as trans later that year, started HRT in 2018, and have been openly polyamorous & queer ever since. The fallout was devastating but quiet. I was excised from friend groups I had since undergrad and had malicious lies spread about me, but all I got for it was a text saying that he had packed my stuff and I had a 30 minute window to grab it.
I didn't move in with my parents afterwards due to the specifics of our family's situation that I will not go into online, but I did move in to a new apartment and I had to process everything he packed into boxes as I was unpacking it. The sentimental items he held onto such as the champagne cork from when I proposed to him, or icing spoons with our initials on them, or sonnets he sent me in college. Every box contained a story. A memory I wanted to shove to the back of my mind. Each of those objects is now is a landfill somewhere because I couldn't take that all being with me.
Unpacking made me remember those feelings, which is why I held off on playing it for so long. The game gets more happy and queer afterwards, but it definitely made me need to take the time I needed to process things. As I was going through the back half of this game, I was remembering moving into spaces that I would now consider my own. Spaces with friends, with partners. Being able to be myself and not just what someone wanted me to be.
It made me remember that I'm here and alive. While our lives can be tracked by a series of moves in the grand scheme of things, it makes me think of not just how far I've come but how much farther I've still got to go.
I just moved to Canada in January. I'm in the midst of still moving stuff over the border gradually. So this unpacking procedure will continue. But I'm here and alive still, in spite of my past. So let's unpack some boxes.
Bingo Space Revealed: I1
