Yaodema

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their name is Bolt :3

Oatmeal based anti slug spray

got a new toy the other day (currently waiting on a SD card before really testing it because i don't want to tax the very shit looking included one too much)

and as is standard when we get something like this, one of our first instincts is to load up austin powers: welcome to my underground lair!/austin powers: oh, behave!, as simply some of the worst ideas for game boy software imaginable ¹.
to make a joke about "hey, check out our new PDA" and maybe now some additional jokes about Kill(ing) James Bond

and every time
i am fucking blindsided by the fact that of all games
this 20+ year old abomination of game design
has a fucking functional gender neutral option

we have always been here.

1. in the same way that the game boy camera emulated the experience of owning a digital camera at a much cheaper price point, these "games" emulated the experience of owning a PDA and/or windows 2000 computer. you can write documents on it! you can send them to friends using the link cable! there's a fake DOS prompt and a calculator! you can customize cursors, wallpapers, and sounds! (there are also a few games but i wouldn't call them the focus). also for some reason ² they're doing the pokémon red and blue thing. some of this wouldn't be too bad if it was decent; a quick way to jot a memo down if you don't have a notepad and don't want to deal with the T9 keypad on your phone of that era. unfortunately, the typing experience is far, far worse than the T9 keypad on your phone of that era; the slowest single character scrolling imaginable.

2. money

normal vacation