I’ve been doing textual readings of games lately, because I like them, and critics I respect have found convincing ways to orientate (or sometimes simply brute force in) the textual reading. there are a lot of thought experiments I juggle, insert, and restitch when writing criticism. it may seem counterintuitive, and when something seems that way, it probably is. still, my goal is to ignore the stream of what is considered global or globalized consensus (which can sort of gloss over, or even at times ignore reality, in favor of upkeeping capitalist superstructure) in order to better represent my own lived conditions, interests, and preferences.

that's all to say... I can’t really do a textual reading for this game. if I did, it would be so tortured and distant from the stuff I actually liked about the game. Being John Blazkowicz is a recentish mapset for Wolfenstein 3D. I have played a lot of Wolfenstein 3D modifications, and yet I’ve not scratched the surface. so, I can’t periodize or state where this fits in the community. I don’t actually know. what I do know is that it’s really fun and fucking good, so I’m going to talk about the appeal of high-level Wolfenstein 3D in a kind of egotistical forum-poster tone of “Why I still play Wolfenstein 3D instead of all the games that supposedly improved on it.” okay not 100%, I'll try not to be a dick, but I will let my inner-troll guide me.

Being John Blazkowicz is by Orka. recently on the scene, Orka is already prolific, with 7 mods and mapsets completed. with possibly more to come…? Being John Blazkowicz is right in the middle of his oeuvre, their first to be made in SDL, with their prior mods being made for ECWolf^. the Wolf4SDL sourceport is foss reimplementation of Wolfenstein 3D that is accurate to the limitations of the dos version and is very popular for modding.

^(ECWolf, a fork of Wolf4SDL, isn’t ‘less accurate,’ but, much like gzdoom to doom, allows for modifications beyond the scope of what wolf-on-dos would allow, so it has a less accurate potentiality. I assume Wolf4SDL’s limitations keep it slightly more popular. the purism is kind of funny out of context, but, now I’m really thinking about it, and like, if someone isn’t interested in the limitations of Wolfenstein 3D, if they wanted to play something fun that does cool, unexpected things, why the fuck are they playing Wolfenstein 3D?)

in Orka’s words, the mod, “should represent what it feels like to play other vanilla-like mods, so each level is a different experience.” Being John Blazkowicz really kinda is a meta-exploration of Wolfenstein 3D mapping. it themes maps around certain “types” of encounters and dives deeply into all the things I’ve seen before… wait that makes it sound generic. hmm, it’s more like, a close read of the different ways to make a challenging Wolfenstein 3D map.

I will say, for a minor critique, I expected more variety when I read this in-game description. I’m sure Orka has strong opinions on what makes a good vanilla map, or he wouldn’t have made 30 of them, though I was slightly disappointed that mapping mainstays like the all-alert map (too lazy to explain what that is), or a big fat fucking maze, didn’t show up in this tour de force. honestly, also, some of the maps are slightly less good versions of other ones, which arguably betrays the theme, but whatever, it’s a free labor of love, I forgive all.

what does it mean to feel like other vanilla-like mods? what’s this close-reading business? I’m assuming that you, the reader, have no fucking idea, because you’re normal, or at least more normal than me. never fear! I will elucidate the different design approaches a Wolfenstein 3D map can take, by describing the possible encounter types, in broad strokes. I won’t be explaining how Wolfenstein 3D works on a basic level, just go play it on internet archive, or read wikipedia or something, if you have literally no idea.

alright so, one of the big, structural things when designing a Wolfenstein 3D map is that there are huge diminishing returns for increasing the amount (or intensity) of an encounter. in Doom wads, there is truly no limit to the number of revenants you can put on a map. slaughtermaps have taught me this valuable lesson. players may feel their brain breaking in real time, but players are disposable, and some might even like that. if your cry of the soul is a cube with 200 revenants, I can’t stop you, and really, no one should. every time a revenant cube is created, a demon pact is made, and the world becomes a worse place (the good kind of worse, like Devilman).

in Wolfenstein 3D, too many SS officers can cause a map to be virtually unwinnable. I’ve played some old shitty maps that were made with the idea of pushing the game to its limits or trying to make the hardest map ever or whatever, and it just doesn’t really work, because of one weird quirk in the gameplay. it’s a simple thing, which has huge consequences in the possibility space of staged killings. while they can shoot through each other, at BJ, he cannot shot through them, hitting only the guy in front of a stack. eight or so SS lined up in a grocery queue will insta-kill BJ as he barely carves through two or three of them. map-makers should realize that encounter density literally and physically does not work in this game. realizing this, they’re left with two options if they want to make something that is “challenging” or “engaging” for their fellow brainless: make dogshit or get creative.

I’ve never opened mapping tools myself, or looked at the source code, so I could be wrong about how these things are scripted. I’m making guesses based on my experience making games. I doubt I’m wrong, but this is the authority of the player-empiricist, a sage-like being still at the whims of my gods, which are those with even stronger hyperfixations than me.

anyway, every encounter in Wolfenstein 3D goes like this. you open the door into the hallway and the guys who are positioned to wake when their sight cone hits yours start shooting at you. and you get them and move on to the next. right?

wrong!! so wrong!! it’s actually a deep and complex game I swear!! (cope)

1. room encounters are by far the most common, and the bedrock of every map, so I wouldn’t blame anyone if they were holding on to maze shooter prejudice. though I can’t fathom where it comes from! I mean, imagine, if you can, a game where you open a door. that’s already some out there shit, I know… but I’m going to ask for a little bit more. now imagine this. behind that door? a room full of guys… with guns! it’s literally so cool…

ideally after opening the door, I just trace the mouse over, and watch the guys all fall down at my power of pointing. I’m pretty good at Wolfenstein 3D, so that’s my destiny, playing chicken with my sometimes-bad reaction time, making sure to sweep my arm (not my wrist again, fucking ow) through the “line” of each garishly dressed moron. this can be pretty rote, though the “tracking” movement is also much like a modern shooter. only, uhh, there’s only one plane. this is a “modern” shooter for vertically challenged boomers (that’s me). if there is any satisfying part, it’s knowing that there’s no margin of error, even the slightest fuck up can cascade into instant death (because damage taken is random LMAOOOOOO).

because every enemy has godlike hitscan, eventually a wiseguy mapper will realize that giving the player enough time and room to plug all the guys will start to massage their ego, and maybe even, allow them to have a bit of fun. there’s no fun in Wolfenstein 3D! again, this time with a greek chorus: if you wanted to have fun you’d play any other fucking game!

did you know that Wolfenstein 3D is a cover shooter? technically (a very sarcastic technically) Wolfenstein 3D can be played outside of cover. sometimes, I even think this is what a map expects the player to do. it doesn’t mean I do it, but it’s an option. Wolfy seems inflexible, but it’s surprising sometimes how well running and gunning works, dipping into well-placed hallways, or actual breaks in the geometry. my favorite invitations are “columns” made up of a single square of map geometry. oh wait, all I described was running between cover. well, nevertheless.

I’m a coward and I’m lazy, so the moment I experience pushback, I default to coping mechanisms and try not to think about why I’m uncomfortable. in videogames, I mean. the safest, most optimal way to play rooms in Wolfenstein 3D is to:
(for your reading pleasure… a list within a list ^o^)
A. open the door, stand right outside of it
B. try shooting down as much as you can from the newly made gap
C. strafe behind a wall, physically breaking line of sight (this is the only way to prevent damage)

when a map is hard, this is what I gotta do. it is, kind of, a last resort, although it is also what I spend the majority of my time doing. does it get repetitive? that’s the wrong question to be asking. the question to be asking is: as a map maker, how do I fucking clown on this kid, who thinks they can just stand in front of the door and exploit a win?

this is where the other encounter types come in. the best way to fuck with someone is to use them all in tandem. this is what Orka does in Being John Blazkowicz. generally speaking, I find that the vanilla Wolfenstein 3D by id, and other vanilla type mods, stick to one encounter type at a time, oddly enough. Orka does this too… in a way that paces or structures the whole map, and allows for the other encounter types to mess with the player, but I’m explaining things non-chronologically again, so here’s the next encounter type.

2. blindspot encounters are the evil version of room-based encounters. both are functionally the same: the enemy wakes because they see you. in a room-based encounter, you will also see them. so, it follows that, in a blindspot encounter, you won’t see them. because they’re in your blindspot. lol.

now let’s say the room is kinda big, and you’re not really paying attention. in front of you is a sweet, sweet door. doors are the punctuation of Wolfy, after all. doors mean progress, doors are what you’re looking for and anticipating, doors all look the same which starts to fuck with your head, I love doors. I see the door, I open the door, unga bunga pavlovian door friend… oh fuck, pain flashes, fuck fuck fuck, god dammit. boom, run over.

I know what happened, at least once it happens, exactly too late. because it’s the other thing that always happens. but you can’t blame me for getting into a fugue state while playing Wolfenstein 3D. it’s basically self-hypnosis. I’m playing chicken with my ability to parse between uniform textures for a half hour (or longer), and also playing high stakes spot the difference at the same time.

and that’s exactly how a fucked up, excuse me, a good vanilla map works. you gotta make most doors safe. sometimes close to all of them. stoke that false sense of security, and then put two blindspot guys in ribbed out hallways that are hard to notice, right in front of a door in the middle or end of the map progression. it's important this happens after all of those safe doors. because the point is to kill the player. that’s the stuff lol, I live to get pranked and die.

the other blindspot variation is similar. spam it, basically. create tons of alcoves just to have two guys (or one, just to fuck with you) in every possible out of sight territory and variation. make hallways into T-shapes just to have that “surprise” encounter at the head or the base of the roomshape. make a maze, just so every juncture has guys coming out of the nether. and then, right when the paranoia sinks in, and the player is starting to realize the bullshit, stop doing it lol, and make them spot check and slowly comb over a bunch of cleared rooms that finally aren’t trying to prank them.

call and response design is overrated. this is that jazz shit, this is purposeful breaks in pattern making. in sooo many games, I already know how it’s going to go from a previously established pattern. this makes my brain itch. if I already know, then am I just going through the motions…? mario 1-1 design can get on my nerves. am I advocating to gaslight the hypothetical player? I guess I am. the thing is, I feel this way only because I’ve played hundreds of hours of this game. I’m asking to get fucked with. at this point, I can only get it on with kinky Wolfenstein 3D. it’s truly just a game. it’s a safe space to be fucked with.

since Wolfenstein 3D revolves around blindspots and anticipation, it can’t be sight read, at least in a conventional sense. with blindspot, ambush, and cascade encounters (I’ll get to the other two in a sec), I’m basically playing Wolfenstein 3D chess. I think of it like a competition with the designer. its pretty much an interactive emotional simulation of Death Note or Code Geass, without pesky things like satisfying catharsis or engaging gameplay getting in the way. if I know that they know that I know what’s going to happen, then I have a 50% chance of guessing what they thought I was going to think, pretty much every time. and the thing is, this mind-meld isn’t impossible. after playing this shit long enough, I started to get the devsense. I’m never thinking on the level of “they wouldn’t do that” or “that’s not how a game is designed” I start thinking “this is what Orka is going to do, probably” and sometimes I even get it right.

alright, I’ll lay off the self-deprecation for just one moment. don’t worry fellow burnouts, it’ll be back after these messages. I just want to say that I find this genuinely really exciting. because maps at this level are high-context, they don’t have to teach the fundamentals to a player, so the “meta” is just different. it’s nice to be able to connect in these specific, abstract ways. it’s kind of like an asynchronous competitive sport. like, if you’ve played a fighting game, it’s literally what you’d call mindgames.

now an 3. ambush works pretty much just like it does in Doom and all the other doom-clones. it’s where picking up an item (usually 1 of 2 keys) causes enemies to wake up on some other part of the map (maybe even, the room behind you). ambushes are pretty predictable, like, they either happen or they don’t. it’s a pretty straightforward way to make a map “go loud” at points communicated to the player. it might give a player a break from the mindgames. it does stop cheese, it makes “just run for the key” strats less viable, encouraging fully clearing out rooms to make sure they’re safe for a future stand off.

but if you really want to be spicy, you pair an ambush with a 4. cascade, which is when shooting one enemy alerts other enemies on the map. this is mechanically similar to an ambush, I realize. the big difference is that any enemy can set off a cascade, if they’ve been flagged to. it seems to have nothing to do with “hearing” shots, unlike a similar mechanic in Doom (although id’s Wolfenstein 3D maps use this mechanic to make it seem as if this is what was happening).

I decided to call this encounter type a cascade, because the typical use-case is having a room continue to “wake up” or stagger encounters as you’re playing it. so like, clearing the guys in front of you will spawn in more guys, and so on. but it can be used in more devious ways, like an enemy waking up guys from across the map. I feel like the evil possibilities are obvious, but I’ll write a dramatization anyway for effect.

but first, let me grind this axe real quick. Doom II has been theorized has having a 'perfect' canvas for encounters. this is because enemies can cover each other’s weaknesses. an archvile by itself cause the player to move in purposeful ways. a revenant will do the same. now, the map maker can put them together, and make a puzzle out of it. running away from a revenant missile might make it impossible to break an archvile’s line of sight. this does work, it’s chaotic as shit. I love it because the demon designs rule and it creates these really specific gameplay-puzzles and forces micro-decision making.

now, in obvious ways, Wolfenstein 3D modding isn’t as cool as Doom modding scene, the designs are samey and corny, and the way it approximates this type of chaos, trolling, and player-provoking requires much more map real estate. it can only happen in whole movements, on a large scale. that means it can’t be repeated or shifted throughout the map, because the whole map needs to be active or responsive in order to do stuff as cool as one archvile. however, it still can do it! that’s all I’m trying to say.

now, for a moment, I’ll be your text let’s player, your imaginary streamer. I’m running up to the door, because I always am, and I don’t check my blindspots. why? sorry chat, I didn’t think I had any. for the sake of narration, let’s pretend I actually stepped back quickly, and cleaned up my mess. sure, that happened. now, unbeknownst to me, one of these blindspot guys caused a cascade and that means some guys are now awake a room back. they’ll be heading this way, but I’m completely clueless. I clear the room easily, giving into the false sense of security. shit, I might sightread this one after all. I grab the key. I’m ready for the ambush, and so I run right back out the door. when I open it, I freak the fuck out, because there’s a bunch of officers there somehow. I’m never surprised, but I never fully make my peace with it either. I have to run back in, I’m not going to die dammit, and I dip into one of the small hallways. at the end of it, of course, there’s two blindspot guys, and I’m ready for it, because I’m really jumpy at this point, and I’m trying to guess what all the tricks are going to be. the most obvious thing happens, one of these blindpot guys immediately causes another cascade, causing the door in front of me to open. and that’s my limit, I wasn’t ready for it.

fuck this shit, I ain’t ever gonna play this shit game again. I react like tyler1 would and shut off the stream. no, of course that’s just cutesy framing device, I’ve never streamed in my life (lie). in reality, I just play these levels in the dark, alone, trying to prove something, but I don’t know what it is. I know my pavlovian conditioning has progressed, and I’ll get farther tomorrow. I always get a bit farther, and I feel like this time, I won’t get fooled again.